‘I want to do this, but what if something went wrong?
What if I'm not good enough?
What if I get only a negative response?
What if I get no response at all?’
These are some of the thoughts that come to my mind whenever I think of trying something new. And I bet you do too. I start overthinking and doubting myself. It feels like I'm losing my mind. And after a while, the idea seems stupid.
When I hear people say, ‘Hey, don’t worry. It'll pass. You'll be fine.’ It annoys me. I know that the first step is scary, and it’s natural, and it’s frightening for everyone. I know they're only trying to make me feel better.
It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one. But knowing that doesn’t make it any less scary and frustrating, does it? Being in that moment is not easy at all.
The first step before every action is to get mentally prepared. To make sure that you are confident about your decision. It’s a crucial step.
But why is it scary? I think the answer is expectations. And that’s okay. Everyone expects good results, and they should. But what's NOT okay is to look for only positive outcomes.
It's rather silly, isn't it?. But can we help it? I guess not. Let me tell you how it all started with me.
It started during my last year of college. Some of my classmates from school & college were posting about getting married, having a baby, and setting up a business or getting a job on social media.
And I was like, ‘Marriage & babies? Congratulations. Good for you. Now I have to make sure my parents never meet you.’ I Didn't want them to get any funny ideas. Jobs & business? ‘Oh My God, what the hell am I doing with my life?’
WHAT DID I DO?
Earlier, I was doing my college assignments and daydreaming about what a spectacular career I would have once I got a degree and a job. But what job no clue. I thought that I’d figure it out before my college ended.
Then Coronavirus happened. We were all stuck at home and losing all our practical sessions. Virtual classes were not effective. Those practical classes were the ones that helped me know what I'm good at based on which I was going to choose my career path. The lockdown ruined everything. I was scared about my future.
So, I decided to get the help of the internet and stumbled upon the information about content writing, blogging, and storytelling which has everything I was looking for while at home and still studying.
The information made me happy. I thought, ‘I like reading, so why not try writing. It would be like how we had article writing questions in exams. I remember I was pretty good at it. So, I made up my mind. I wanted to do it.
THE ‘FEAR’ PHASE
Fear made its ugly appearance. Fear of ‘what if I don’t get what I've visualized in my head?’. I guess you know what happens next.
Our mind loves filling itself with negative thoughts at the worst times, doesn’t it? It's good at scaring us, making us restless. Overthinking drains all the energy out of us.
Well, it was doing its job just fine with me too. The funny thing about the brain is that it works too hard to stay lazy, to keep us caged in our warm little bubble called the comfort zone.
I knew I needed to take a break from overly thinking about it. Calm down and cheer up before fear took over my mind and made me drop my decision to be a writer, which would’ve sucked.
HOW I MOTIVATE MYSELF
Reading fictional stories, watching videos of stand-up comedy, skill development, and fashion influencers on the internet, and listening to patriotic songs. Because that kind of fills me with energy & bravery, you know. Works every time for a while, I swear.
While doing all these activities, I always try to take notice of the details. For instance, how the sensitive matters were talked about while keeping the mood light, which part was unnecessary (in my opinion), which were relevant etc.
I've also seen people on social media who are just having fun with the camera and wonder, ‘where do these people get their confidence from?’. I don't know if whatever I did comes under the break but it does ease my mind a little.
I realized if I took everything too seriously, which I often forget, I would always live in fear. It is no way to live. I remind myself that I’ll miss a lot if I don’t start from the fear of ‘What if's.
So, I finally started taking baby steps and took my time to complete my first article. I didn’t want my conscience to tell me, ‘you should’ve at least tried when you had the chance’ in the future. Nobody likes that kind of guilty, annoying thought.
I might have edited and reread my first article (I guess no less than 50 times) before publishing it. It took me months to mentally prepare myself to take that first step.
Just before publishing it, I realized why I was so worried. It's not what or how I would write. I was anxious about sounding stupid. And also mess up with the filling of basic information to start the blog.
Yup, Silly, I know. Hey, don’t judge me. I was a newbie and didn’t want to give any unnecessary information. I've made that mistake once, and I've learned my lesson.
The type and level of fear are different for everyone, and so is the solution to deal with them.
THE TAKEAWAY
The best way to deal with the fear that works for me is,
As the author, Austin Kleon, says, ‘Show Your Work!’ no matter how stupid or imperfect it seems. Let your audience watch you progress as you share your journey.
Tell yourself that you're just exploring new things and having fun. There’s no need to take it seriously.
Having expectations is not bad, but let's keep it practical.
‘Expect that your gonna fail.
Expect that your gonna fall.
But be prepared to get back up again.
Because you are not the one who quickly gives up.’
(LOL, I tried to make it rhyme. Should I remove it?.... Nah, sounds good to me).
So, What's the thing that is stopping you from taking that first step?
Tags- start writing, try something new, self-doubt, freaking out, the first step, unrealistic expectations, positive results, fear of future, have fun.
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